How much longer will we play this game?
to go on with our lives like nothing has changed, is to accept defeat and begin to cope with it. But how then, can i not accept defeat? death? perhaps a sweet shallow quick fix? a quick solution to the problem? but in death there is no life, so how can i live if i decide that one day there might be hope.
Do i give in and accept defeat? a strategy i set into motion so that one day things may be as they once where? or do i realize that through my hopes and wishes i must see that things can never be, so death? or life with defeat?
regrets? or be free?
but can i really choose the latter? can i simply say i will be free, and be free? can saying the words outloud take from inside the regrets i hold already? will i be free simply because i want it badly enough? no.
though i can paint, and have become very good at telling stories, i can create my outer, because my inner is nothing, i can paint a picture to match your expectations, and weave a tale so thick, disbelief does not exist when the words lay upon your ears.
but happiness is not approachable, only imitable, it is not truly living to live with defeat, it's merely acting, a fine performance it shall be.
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