the things that scare me most, are not your typical fears. they are not the boogey man, or that one house down the street, they are not spiders, or snakes, heights or rain.
What scares me most, is when i close my eyes, your voice rings through my ears, i open them, and you are not there.
what i fear most you could not possibly understand, if i sat, and talked, and described to you what happens when my eyes close, you could not understand, you would not understand, it is a nightmare in intself.
what scares me most, are the memories i have, not the sweet ones i look to when i see something that reminds me, but the foul ones, the ones that i dare not speak aloud, for even writing them brings a cold sweat to my forhead.
what truly terrorizes me the most, is when i remember how nonchalantly you told me the things i did not want to hear, how you so easily described the things you did, and how it seemd to have no effect, when inside my soul was being ripped to shreds.
What i fear, is not knowing what is going on, not following your life, not knowing if you are in need of the help you are to proud to ask me for.
What i fear, are the things you did, the ways you did them, and the fact that i once was sure beyond a doubt, with every fiber of my being that you would never do those things but now i am not.
What terrorizes my body when my eyes close, are things that should not be there, things that time should have stolen away.
when i close my eyes my nightmare begins, although i rarely sleep, my body has found a way to betray me, it does not need the sleep it once did, closing my eyes is sufficient for the nightmares to consume my ever thought.
What scares me most, is that you still visit me, you flaunt these things in my face and every nightmare i have seems to remind me that i am not yours anymore.
That, is what scares me most.
What scares me most, is when i close my eyes, your voice rings through my ears, i open them, and you are not there.
what i fear most you could not possibly understand, if i sat, and talked, and described to you what happens when my eyes close, you could not understand, you would not understand, it is a nightmare in intself.
what scares me most, are the memories i have, not the sweet ones i look to when i see something that reminds me, but the foul ones, the ones that i dare not speak aloud, for even writing them brings a cold sweat to my forhead.
what truly terrorizes me the most, is when i remember how nonchalantly you told me the things i did not want to hear, how you so easily described the things you did, and how it seemd to have no effect, when inside my soul was being ripped to shreds.
What i fear, is not knowing what is going on, not following your life, not knowing if you are in need of the help you are to proud to ask me for.
What i fear, are the things you did, the ways you did them, and the fact that i once was sure beyond a doubt, with every fiber of my being that you would never do those things but now i am not.
What terrorizes my body when my eyes close, are things that should not be there, things that time should have stolen away.
when i close my eyes my nightmare begins, although i rarely sleep, my body has found a way to betray me, it does not need the sleep it once did, closing my eyes is sufficient for the nightmares to consume my ever thought.
What scares me most, is that you still visit me, you flaunt these things in my face and every nightmare i have seems to remind me that i am not yours anymore.
That, is what scares me most.
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