3/19/09 - I Wonder

What would you know about normality? About not sleeping at night, about
thoughts creeping into your mind at all hours of the day? what would you
know about normality? About being fucked up for a while and finally
putting it to rest? About fixing the problem inside and not having to
worry about it anymore?

Now What Would You Know About Pain? About a burning feeling inside your
chest, about thoughts in your head scratching and fighting their way
out until the point of physical pain? What Would You Know about
suicide? The act of taking the pain away from yourself? Some say
cowardly but what if it fits in right? Takes the pain away from your
life, but takin life away with it?

And now the strange part, what happens when theirs no pain? When things
that are supposed to hurt don't? What if you don't feel anything at all,
but go about your day like it was any normal day? Smiles and laughter
become your best friends, and you forget the things that once ruled your
nightmares.

And what do you know about revenge? About taking things that weren't
yours and giving them away? About presents meant for you and no one else
and handed out like they were free, what if you get the urge to find out
what it's like? Your brain begins to tickle and you begin to wonder, its
not such a bad idea, revenge, it soothes the pain even further, it
begins to stalk your mind each day.

Revenge erases the lies, it helps you know what really went down, and so
you smile, because surely revenge is the right choice, it negates the
other emotions, revenge is the right choice for this situation, and in
time, your actions will become clear to those who need them.