They say the most important things in any relationship are trust and honesty, and if u lose those its def hard 2 get them bak.
i did sumthin once that i didnt think was a big deal, till moms found out and told me i had lost her trust.im still not sure if i got it bak completely, cuz she still looks at me wierd sumtimes. . . im not sur how long it wil tke because its been asmot 2 years since the thing did.
but this isn't about my momz, thas 2 show that no matter how long ago things are u dont forget them...this about sum 1 else, sum 1 different.
sometimes i think about what shes sayin, she doesnt kno though cu i play it cool like nuthin wrong.i remember the last convo we had b 4 it happened 2, before she made everything change. because when u do sumthin fuked up like that to sum 1 u care about u lose their trust, and like me if they deal they never completely believe wat u tellin em afterwords.u look at em different afta and deep down u hav a hate 4 em, cuz u kno u neva wulda done sumtihn fucked up like that 2 them.
idk if i loved her more or if she even cared for me at all, but i kno i cared 4 her and i wulda done anything to show her that. i wulda been betta than all the dudes she eva been wit, or the dude she wit now. because i wulda cared for her and i wulda loved her and givin her anything in the world. because i kno he dudes she been wit are dicks, no better way to describe them, and a girl like her she deserved sum 1 who wuld love her and care for her and treat her how she shuld b treated. and i say deserved because i dont kno if i feel the same way about her now, i dont kno if i realy truely want her 2 find that special someone.maybe i want her to suffer a lil first, so she can now wat it feels like.
after it happened i wuld wonder if when we talekd she wuld tell me the truth, and while she talked i uld wonder and htink about stuff. i no now that she doesnt hav my full trust because i cant talk to her like i use 2. i used 2 think culd tell her anything, but now i kno i can never do that. when u care for someone u care for them, and u ddont do FUCKED UP things.because u thnk about it, and u realize it's not rite and that it will hurt them.but she didnt, she had her own selfish thoughts and acted and fucked things up forever.because now i dont look at her like i used 2, in an affetionate way, in a way that said i wuld giv u the world if i culd, now i hardly look at her at all.we dont talk mch either,it ccan never be how it used 2 be because she fucked up, and the guy shes with now, i doubt they'll b together long.beause i kno how most guys are, and even if she is beautiful, even if she has beauty like almost no other, and even if she has all these things that any 1 culd love, a guy is a guy, and most of them dont realiize what they hav.
i wwulda ben perferct for her, some one she neva wuld forget.because i wulda treated her how she shuld hav been treated, like a female, i wuld have givin her respect and love and all the other simplistic and materialistic things in life she culd hav ever wanted. but like i said, i wuld hav treated her how she shuld hav been treated, becasue i cant love her like i used to. i cant feel for her the way i once did, because to talk t her wuld bring memories of what happpened bac to me, and i kno i wuld hate her for doing it, but i also kno that she doesnt feel anything, she doesnt regret doing what she did that selfish time in her life, because shes with him now. but one day hopefuly she'll realise what she did, and i want her to hate herself for doing it, becaause thats what she deserves,thats wat they deserve. . .
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